Today my great-grandmother would have been 94 years old. When she passed away I found very few things about her funeral to be comforting. They say these ceremonies are for the living, not the dead. Supposedly they give us closure and an appropriate time and place to mourn. For me it was full of sadness and people telling me not to cry because she was in a better place. This only made me feel more isolated in my grief.
However, I remember a moment that offered such a spark of humor and fondness for me. Two of my granny's high school friends came to the service. They gave me a small glimpse of what she was like before she was someone's mother or grandmother. It was fascinating to hear them talk about her as a young, precocious woman with a lifetime ahead of her. Apparently, my grandmother's gift for straight shooting actually wasn't a product of her old age. According to these friends of hers, she always said exactly what she thought.
With a personality like my own, forever burdened by a need to be polite and pleasing, I could not help but admire my grandmother's simple, direct personality. She didn't fear anyone or anything. What I wouldn't give to have a dose of her tenacity.
Today, on her birthday I can't help but offer some kind of homage to her memory. I think of her often and today seemed like the proper occasion to ask the world around me to think about her for a moment as well. So what did I learn from my great granny? What lessons did she teach? What memories rise to the surface during this season of my life? Here are a few for my own indulgence...
Granny hated that I drank blue kool-aid. She didn't think it was natural. Sure, she bought it and made it for me regularly but she never served it without a lecture about how much she disliked blue liquid. Granny kept frozen burgers in the fridge and made me two small hamburgers almost every day. They were my favorite.
Granny would not have considered herself a feminist or approved of any burning brassieres. However, she was a strong, independent woman. She may not have explained the feminist ideals of Susan B. Anthony to me as a child...but did she ever live them for me. She worked hard and without complaining. She took care of herself, her child, her grandchildren, her great-grandchildren, and even her great-great grandchildren. She was a woman without fear. She held to strong convictions and was, at times, immovable in those convictions. She enjoyed laughter and company and always kept her door open.
I am not fearless or outspoken in the way that my Granny was but I learned what it looked like to step up to the world. In tough times I know that I can overcome my fear, because she did. When I am uncertain, I know that I will still take action, because she did. When I am tired I know that I will continue to work with diligence, because she did. When the truth is uncomfortable or inconvenient I know I will honor it, because she did. When people look to me for anything I will be there for them because she was there for me.
I love my Granny...Happy Birthday!
